It has been a long time since I last updated my this blog with a lot of EMO stuff. This is the time for me to change because after experienced different way of life, surely will have a different way of mind set. After I graduated from high school, I have lots of time to "revise" the past of my life whether I live happily or not and why I was like that. Yeap, conclusion is....I am sucks. Hahaha X)
Don't worry, I am no longer write those stupid and emo stuff like previously. Now, I want to share about my current situation after waking up from mistakes that I made during high school period of time.
Let's talk about a little bit bit about my past.
1) Emo.
2) Funny and Cute. (What I heard from people)
3) Mad.
4) Pity = Love
5) Sleepy
6) Weak
Well, I will explain all of them. For those who not really understand what the hell am I doing in high school.
Game on :)
1) Emo. The word which commonly can be hear from all my dear friends. 2 reason why that time I very emo. First, is because I have a little family issues. Second, the damn troublesome teenager's problem -"love" which I wrongly understand the true meaning of it. I will explain it later.
2) Funny and Cute. Well, I like this 2 words although I'm not really think these words are suit for me. That time, I prefer people call handsome but it would not happen in my life. Now, rewind back those days, I have these 2 tags, I am very happy with it. Thanks to those people who say me cute and funny. I love it. :)
Am I cute? x)
3) Mad. I don't know how to explain it. But I know I was MAD. Maybe because "loving" the wrong people? Yes, all my friends says that maybe because I lost another chance of getting in a true relationship when I was "loving" that wrong person. By the way, I not really love that person after I think again in "awaken" situation.
(Yes, but I was wrong)
Explanation, next.
4) Pity = Love. This WAS my equation. Why I say that? Long stories but I will try make it shorter. That girl also have family issue which is also faced by me. But her situation is worse than mine. In chinese, 同病相怜. She always looking for me to express her feelings, kills boring and all that stuff. Every time she find me to accompany her to play games, even during my SPM period. I was SO stupid simply because I wasted money, time and my future on her. Well, I was hope for return. But after that, I found out that I have been used, I'm the substitution. I realize she actually in love with someone else which younger than me and not that handsome like me.(suit her because they are the same type of looking). You get what I mean? YES, people said she is not that beautiful actually. They said she is not my type and she never accept me as her boyfriend. I wonder what was my feeling actually. My taste is not at that level, even 300% higher than that. You can say I'm cruel and jealous because I not with her. Well, I'm okay with that, because I never thinking of be with her. This is not love, this is called SYMPATHY. So, I was so dumb that I giving my support(pity) is the way to show love. Haha, this is the past. Let's just erase off from my mind. I no longer care about her anymore. She lives better than me.
(I'm quite disappointed)
(Yes, I did hate you. But now, I'm not. Because you're not worth for me to hate anymore. Good luck in your life.)
4) Sleepy. Yes, when I was in high school. I was sooo sleepy at that time. Because, I spent too much time to emo. Hehehe.
5)Weak. Yeap, I was so weak to protect and defend myself from being hurt. I was so easy to get influence at that time. Just because of this, I had been fooled.
ALRIGHT, let's talk about current life.
Currently, I am a university student. The student of Sunway University College. Sounds rich right? Not even richer than Desmond Chiah-a Taylor student.
Well, after get in to a University. Mind and attitude must change. That's why I have awaken from emo nightmares. But this kind way of life very hectic and stressful. Although it is busy, but at least better than everyday busy emo right?
Everyday I need to drive to school, facing traffic jam all the time.
(Traffic Jam soon) (OMG, it's raining)
I met some awesome friends in college. Here just some of them. :)
Although now I having college life. But I never forget those high school memories. All my friends, my precious memories.
(Lenglui and Lengzais)
(Cheer for our friendship)
(Brothers)
(Beloved 5A members)
(I miss Delta HQ so much)
( I miss my high school life, and school T-shirt)
(All looks so handsome and gorgeous, why I'm not? Owh! I'm cute! XD)
(LEONARD, THE FISH WANNA EAT THE CACING(My...) !
(I miss them)
(My club members, first time I became a naib pengerusi)
(Lengluis and Lengzais)
( Heroes and Heroins of the Broga Hills)
(Cute desmond and me)
( :D )
( PBSM ROCKSS )
(The Legion of Chung Hwa) Hahaha
I hope I can go back to the past. But it won't happen. What I can do is, appreciate what I have now. Memories won't fade. It will always in my mind everyday. When I feeling stress, these precious and meaningful memories can cheer me up. Thanks to you guys, I love you all.
p/s: Oh ya, specially thanks to a gorgeous and beautiful person, you make me realize that I still have the chance to change my status into "in a relationship". But, it is too late to say that? Nevermind, all the best to you. I think you will find a better and cuter and handsomer boyfriend. I'm not a perfect boyfriend.
HERE some videos that inspired me a lot which make me know that, I'm the lucky one. Thanks to Nick Vujicic. You are my idol. You're the one who save my life. I never met a Bitter person who was Thankful. Or a Thankful person who was Bitter. Nick is Thankful for what he has. Not bitter for what he does not have.
Spend some time to watch this video, I surely know that you will learn something from it.
(Sorry for the bad grammar.) :)
I still holding on.
. It causes me sobbing, sighing, emotional all the time or even try to ends my life when i'm alone.
. Maybe I need another years to recover, build up my heart and close the wound again.
